My wife used to say that often she would read about what I was thinking via a blog entry instead of a personal conversation. Some things are easier to write about than to speak about. Something else my wife used to say is that I never took enough pictures of her and the children.
I have neglected this spot (there are many broken links to fix) because I changed jobs and on 17th August 2011 my wife passed away. Her wish was to be scattered to the four corners of the earth. That is a difficult place to find on a map, so we selected three places in the Pilansberg and a koppie at the Norscot Manor reserve.
However, her facebook account remains as an electronic tombstone. I realized that when we go, all of that is going to remain is not our scattered ashes but our electronic presence. I started posting pictures of our sons and me on facebook on a regular basis. Somehow it makes me feel that she can see them and smile down at us. I hope there are enough pictures for her to see! The other day I had a burden. I had been letting go the emotional ashes that the presence of her worldly possessions had created. The last thing I let go were her shoes. I was present when she went and the shoes were on a chair in the room outside under my jacket. During the past year, no-one had asked me what happened in those moments and what were her last words. I logged onto facebook and posted it on her electronic tombstone, her facebook account. It was the same release as when the shoes left, a burden I did not have to carry myself. BTW: the words were: "I don't know."
PS: Babe, I hope you are still reading...